Struggling moms with an adolescent child

Arizona State University researchers surveyed 2,200 mothers with children ranging from infants and adults and asked about the most difficult time to be a mother. The study revealed that the worst time for mothers is during the middle school – a time during which children are between the ages of 11 and 14. They have the most challenging time across several dimensions including emptiness, low life satisfaction, maternal rejection, child maladjustment, low child positive, and child negative behaviors. After being reported by the Korean media, this research has drawn strong reactions from Korean moms.

The comments on the article includes: “I wanna die because of my children who are going through puberty. Husband doesn't show any interest in kids,” “My son stares at me, spits on the floor, is glued to his mobile phone, uses swearwords and likes to beat others with his fists. I can’t sleep at night, crying everyday,” “He thinks that he has grown by himself and blame his parents for not inheriting anything” and “His eyes turn to the side like a halibut and the white of his eyes grows.” Many of the comments say that their blood is up or have constant headaches or they wish they had no child.

Moms also express resentment about their husband who just blamed them for raising their child not properly and pass the buck to their wife. Many complain that it is much tougher to raise a boy than a girl. There is even a saying that “a mother of two sons is a woman that is abandoned by God.” Daughters show an attitude of defiance only to some extent while boys are hard to control like crazy monkeys. Moms want to control their child even using a cane, but they also fear that this might cause their child to jump off from the apartment. They rely on a religion or do some knitting to calm their mind. However, raising a boy makes them old both physically and mentally.

Adolescence is typically a period of “storm and stress.” The level of sex hormone surges, the body matures but mental development lags behind. During the time, adolescents believe the sun circles around them and their parents who once seemed like a rock look nerdy. Even without citing the research, everybody knows that parents with a child who is at puberty are not happy. In Korea, it is compounded by stress from academic performance. Some say that North Korean soldiers cannot attack South Korea because they fear South Korean middle school students. Maybe, struggling mothers who raise such middle school children may be worth receiving a medal.